Parenting Against the Tide by Ann Benton

Oh yes! Another parenting book!  But it's a great read I promise.  Ann Benton writes in her inimitable down to earth style with a good dose of common sense and wry humour.  In other words, without wishing to offend, it is very English.  Ann takes a refreshing look at the often nonsensical way of the world on many issues: the self esteem myth, the muddle of relativism, obedience, correction, gender distinctives, screens, affluence and more.  I was reassured that it is not just me that thinks the world has gone mad!  However, this book is not a negative look at changes in society and the treatment of children, but gives a positive view of how a Biblical model for parenting makes so much sense and is always relevant to our current situation, regardless of the latest secularist trends. We know our children were 'born in sin and shapen in iniquity', we know that not everything they produce is fantastic and that with enough positive encouragement they will be child prodigies, we also know that some disappointment and criticism is essential to developing well rounded characters.  Most importantly we know that we have a God who sovereignly rules over all things, children and parents included.  This book is an excellent reminder that the Bible is our guide, not the current theories in child psychology; that our treasure is in heaven, not here on earth and that is where our aims in parenting should be too.
Lorna

Parenting Against the Tide - A Handbook for 21st Century Parenting by Ann Benton, published by EPBooks, £7.60 from us although I have a damaged copy that can go for £6.50 to the first person who mentions this blog post when ordering.

Easter Activity Mornings

We have had a lot of fun over the past couple of weeks with our Activity Mornings.  It is great to see a busy bookshop - over 50 children came in over the 2 mornings - and to encourage crafts about all things books!  We did papermaking, bookbinding, paper marbling, treasure quests and lots more.  I can't resist sharing this with you which was written by one of the children in response to the question 'At night when the shop is shut, the books...'

 

"At night when the shop is shut, the books open up for the characters, who are trapped inside, so they can have their freedom.  They tiptoe around the shop, not making a single sound, whilst they are dancing and trying to enjoy their short time, before they have to jump back in their book.

Characters from children's books are more energetic than ones from adult books.  They love the night-time, because it is their only precious hours when they are released from their prison-like cell inside the book.  The adults are much more cautious of stepping out into the outside world, having more knowledge of the dangers which could occur.

All of the characters had gathered in one area (under a table) to keep them safe from us. The great Apostle Paul was at the front reading from his own book of the Bible - Acts.  Nobody moved - they were mesmerized at the amazing word of God for maybe the last time - they didn't know what was to happen to them next...

Suddenly the sound of huge footprints could be heard in the distance.  All the characters jumped back into their books. Snap! And they were gone for another year..."

 

If you want to see more pics of the fun we had, check out our album on facebook (you don't need to be on facebook to view them).

Lorna

August - A Wash Out?

Lorna has just posted about our Annual bulletin.  Yes, the boys were a great help, but it went off a bit late this year.  What happened to August?  Did we get anything done apart from a family holiday?  Well, strangely, it was a great success.  Looking at the month from more than the narrow commercial perspective, it was one of our best times.  We held two holiday activity mornings for pre-teen children plus parents, which were runaway successes.  They were begging for more!  It was so satisfying to get across a literary theme through crafts and quizzes as well as book readings.  More than 60 children were there which was fabulous.  It was particularly nice to see many from non-Christian families.  We were kindly allowed the use of the Chapel next door to give us the needed space, and had a great support team as well.  Thanks everyone!  We have a gallery of photos on our Facebook page.  Remember you can view this even if you do not have a Facebook account.
The problem now is that we have probably made a rod for our own back for future holiday times, and left ourselves playing catch-up as we start the long run in to Christmas!  But at least we do so feeling more fulfilled than ever.
Jeremy

One Good Reason For Not Blogging...

...This is the best reason I can think of. A very special delivery, outside of normal Shop hours. Katie Jayne Roe arrived on Sunday 24th at 11.43pm, thankfully not on the premises, but in our temporary location at Dewsbury District Hospital. She was a 9lb parcel. Lorna has now taken on extra duties, but is still being retained in a consulting role - so be reassured ladies! She is able to give her usual helpful advice even though with senses reeling from the idea of a girl in the house. Thank you to everyone who has prayed for us and thought about us at this time of great change. It is one way of increasing footfall in a time of recession! Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Jeremy

Tripped up by Tedd...

Sorry, that was the sort of awful pun that only my husband is allowed to come out with! The truth is that I found Tedd Tripp's book 'Shepherding a Child's Heart' very helpful and it still comes off the shelf from time to time so that I can remind myself of the importance of sticking to my guns when discipline seems to be heading out of the window with the children (not the children heading out of the window...). So I was interested to see his new book, written with his wife, entitled 'Instructing a Child's Heart'. I have to confess to not having read it from cover to cover, partly because I started to struggle a bit with it. I definitely like the basic principles he sets out, and some examples can be helpful. However, at the risk of once more sounding racist, my struggles have been with the 'Americanisms'. I would love to find a family, British or otherwise, who actually has conversations as set out in this book. Please let me know if you do and I will take my hat off to you.

Here's an example... Billy has been complaining about his breakfast and this is a suggested response...

" Billy, complaining comes from the heart. Your complaints over breakfast expose internal problems, don't they? a complaining spirit shows a thankless, ungrateful heart toward God and others. 2 Timothy 3:2-4 lists ungratefulness with sins of godlessness..."

Now, while this may be a worthwhile conversation to have about complaining, I know that in reality our breakfast time complaints are more likely to be met with "Come on boys, eat up, we need to get to the shop"!

I don't like to focus though on the negatives and the positives I draw from this and other of Tedd Tripp's books is that he reminds parents not to focus just on the outward behaviour of our children, but to look to their sinful hearts and help them to recognise the sin that is within. He stresses the importance of a Biblical worldview that is not clouded by the changes in society. He highlights the need for clear and careful communication. He emphasises the importance of living out our faith in front of our children and 'practising what we preach'. For this, I can overlook the 'Americanisms'.

Instructing a Child's Heart, by Tedd Tripp, published by Shepherd Press, £10.95

Lorna

Where did that office chair go...?

What a wonderful provision it is to have a carpark... not only for cars, but for the children to play in! Here's some pictures from todays antics in the carpark... the boys enjoyed having a friend to play with them... and she came up with a novel way of using the office furniture!
Lorna

From Grief to Glory

'Few things must rival the sorrow of a family that buries a child'. So begins James W Bruce in this book that has grown out of the spiritual journey of his family who suffered the loss of a son after 55 days. This is a family who looked to others who had also lost children for the sympathy of a shared experience. Their journey took them to the writings of many well known men and women of faith from times past, when death in childhood was much more common than now. And so this book is really an anthology of such writings. We read Robert Dabney's letters after the deaths of 2 sons within 2 weeks of each other, Calvin's hymn after he lost his only son born prematurely and Matthew Henry's journal following the deaths of 3 of his 9 children when he was able to say 'I am in deaths often; Lord, teach me how to die daily'. Bunyan, Whitefield, Edwards, Rutherford and many more all suffered the loss of children. Their writings recorded here along with insights by Bruce are very poignant and powerful. I'm sure this 'book of comfort for grieving parents' (as subtitled) will be just that.

Interestingly, a few weeks before 'From Grief to Glory' arrived in stock, I read another newly published book called 'Under the Rainbow'. This is an incredible testimony of a mother who lost 2 severely disabled children at the ages of 10 and 12 years. Her honesty regarding the shock of having not 1 but 2 disabled children, the practicalities of daily family life (which included another healthy child), the reactions of others to her children and how her family dealt with their deaths are very moving. Although at times angry and devastated, she was brought by the Lord to humble acceptance and submission to His will. Emotional, thought-provoking and profitable to read.

Having ourselves suffered the loss of a nephew at just 19 months old, this quote from Lorraine Boettner in the appendix of 'From Grief to Glory' rings so true...

Clearly, accomplishment in life cannot be measured in terms of years alone. It often happens that those that die young have accomplished more than others who live to old age. Even infants, who sometimes have been with their parents only a few days, or even hours, may leave profound influences that change the entire course of the life of the family. And undoubtedly, from the Divine viewpoint, the specific purpose for which they were sent into the world was accomplished. It is our right neither to take life prematurely, nor to insist on its extension beyond the mark that God has set for it.

Lorna

From Grief to Glory, by James W Bruce III, published by Banner of Truth, £6.25

Under the Rainbow, by Catherine Campbell, published by Ambassador, £7.99

Christian Behaviour by John Bunyan

Those that know me will know that I have a certain fascination with books on 'Child Training' - I am always tempted to buy them in, then they sit on my bedside table for months while I decide if they really are any good and if they are worth stocking. Having now read 'Christian Behaviour' by John Bunyan I realise that really all these books could be boiled down to a few pages - and John Bunyan does this perfectly. This small paperback (76pp) starts by expounding Titus 3:7,8

That being justified by his grace, we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. This is a faithful saying, and these things I will that thou affirm constantly, that they which have believed in God might be careful to maintain good works. These things are good and profitable unto men.

and, as you read further you realise how important this introductory section is. The 'ground rules' are laid down: Faith is all important. Bunyan then moves on to the specifics - the master of the family, parents, correction of children, masters to servants, duties of wives, duties of children to parents, servants to masters and neighbours to each other. He writes in typical puritan style with lots of subheadings and sub-subheadings but he is easy to follow and very practical in his applications. For only £2.95 (maybe the low price explains the poor cover design?), I really would recommend this as a useful addition to any bedside table!

Lorna

Adventures

I'm enjoying reading through 'African Adventures' to the boys at the moment. It's well above their reading age (Matthew is 4, Euan 2), but the chapter lengths are about right to retain their attention. They are fascinated to hear about lions etc, and I'm learning about the Turkana tribe in northern Kenya who the writer Dick Anderson evidently worked amongst as a missionary doctor. The story reminds me a bit of the 'Adventure' books written by Willard Price which I read avidly as a boy, and there is also a similarity to the Jungle Doctor books but with a clearer Christian message woven into it. I recommend it. I look forward to moving on to the other books in the same series done by Christian Focus. The first they did was 'Rainforest Adventures' I believe, which on glancing through looked better if anything. There is a wealth of education here for all via family reading - everyone will take in something at their own level. A friend has also read 'Great Barrier Reef Adventures' and liked it. We find they are popular for Sunday School prizes if those who look out books for this purpose in our shop are anything to go by.

Jeremy

Bereavement

Strangely, after writing about a customer's experience of bereavement, we have had to go through this experience ourselves. Next time she pops in, she will learn how timely her words were.
We often have customers asking for books to give to children about death. I have searched for a book I am happy with on this subject without much success. I am now in the position of the customer and would like something suitable for our children. Any ideas?
Because of the need to attend a funeral abroad I have spent many hours sitting in Durham passport office. I picked up 'Keep a Quiet Heart' (see Jeremy's post) to take. During the frustrating delays it was helpful in reminding me that our Lord is in control of all things. 'A quiet heart is content with what God gives'.
Lorna