Trusting through the Tears - A Repost

It is almost exactly a year since we posted this review. What a year it has been! There may have been many tears, but has there been any 'Trusting through the Tears'? I hope many of us can testify that by God's grace there has. I am reposting this review to bring this helpful book to your attention again...

Keren Baker and her family have experienced many trials of different kinds: bereavement, chronic illness, mental health issues and financial difficulty, to mention a few. Trusting Through the Tears was written to show how God's grace has shone through the trials of their lives. This is not just their story though, and in fact it doesn't give much detail on their particular trials, but it does have much to say on the care and compassion of the Lord they trust. The practical elements of coping with the difficulties of day to day life is woven in amongst the spiritual necessities of handling trials. Indeed we are exhorted to focus on the spiritual when all around us is falling apart, but we are also given practical ways of doing this from Keren's own experiences.

We read about the need to be honest in our weakness and how this weakness will show forth the glory of God better than any show of 'false' strength we have in ourselves. We also learn about how to combat loneliness, with very real examples of how loneliness can be a problem even in a crowd. The practicalities of prayer when struggling mentally or emotionally is not glossed over and we are shown the necessity of recognising the sovereignty of God and submission to the mystery that may surround our circumstances. Peace is considered: what this really means and feels like in a seemingly chaotic situation. The definitions of comfort and true joy in all these things is another topic, plus a recognition that a sense of brokenness can actually in truth, mean a fuller wholeness.
The chapter that really resonated with me highlighted the beauty of spiritual depths found in those who have suffered and the spiritual fellowship that can be found there. It was a reminder to look for those depths in ourselves and others, and not to be satisfied with the shallowness of so much of our routine conversation. The ugliness of suffering causes the beauty of grace to shine ever brighter and will bring a richness to relationships that would not otherwise be there.
I hesitate to write this, but this is a very 'British' book (there is a subtle difference between British and American authors, which is not to say that one is better than the other 😉). In a practical and realistic way, it has a lot to teach us about trials and how we grow through them. I have found it helpfully thought-provoking and would recommend it to those who are suffering or those who are supporting the suffering (which should be all of us!).
Trusting Through the Tears by Keren Baker published by Evangelical Press.

Trusting Through the Tears

Keren Baker and her family have experienced many trials of different kinds: bereavement, chronic illness, mental health issues and financial difficulty, to mention a few. Trusting Through the Tears was written to show how God's grace has shone through the trials of their lives. This is not just their story though, and in fact it doesn't give much detail on their particular trials, but it does have much to say on the care and compassion of the Lord they trust.  The practical elements of coping with the difficulties of day to day life is woven in amongst the spiritual necessities of handling trials. Indeed we are exhorted to focus on the spiritual when all around us is falling apart, but we are also given practical ways of doing this from Keren's own experiences.
We read about the need to be honest in our weakness and how this weakness will show forth the glory of God better than any show of 'false' strength we have in ourselves.  We also learn about how to combat loneliness, with very real examples of how loneliness can be a problem even in a crowd.  The practicalities of prayer when struggling mentally or emotionally is not glossed over and we are shown the necessity of recognising the sovereignty of God and submission to the mystery that may surround our circumstances. Peace is considered: what this really means and feels like in a seemingly chaotic situation. The definitions of comfort and true joy in all these things is another topic, plus a recognition that a sense of brokenness can actually in truth, mean a fuller wholeness.
The chapter that really resonated with me highlighted the beauty of spiritual depths found in those who have suffered and the spiritual fellowship that can be found there.  It was a reminder to look for those depths in ourselves and others, and not to be satisfied with the shallowness of so much of our routine conversation. The ugliness of suffering causes the beauty of grace to shine ever brighter and will bring a richness to relationships that would not otherwise be there.
I hesitate to write this, but this is a very 'British' book (there is a subtle difference between British and American authors, which is not to say that one is better than the other 😉). In a practical and realistic way, it has a lot to teach us about trials and how we grow through them. I have found it helpfully thought-provoking and would recommend it to those who are suffering or those who are supporting the suffering (which should be all of us!).
Trusting Through the Tears by Keren Baker published by Evangelical Press.

Joy in the Sorrow

Suffering.... No-one is immune to it, but everyone reacts differently to it. Joy in the Sorrow is a collection of stories from Christians who have suffered. Matt Chandler, pastor of a large American church, introduces the book and includes his own experience of having a brain tumour. But then the remainder of the book is written by various members of his own congregation. Not well known Christians, but 'normal' everyday Church members who have walked through deep trials and have learnt to rejoice through them. These stories show the greatness and goodness of God in his gracious, personal dealings with each believer. From the death of a young child, to the death of a young spouse; from chronic physical illness, to long-term mental health issues; from family breakdown, to childlessness. Each story is a clear testament to a God who sanctifies suffering, who walks with his people through trials; who teaches, guides and directs in these difficult pathways.
This is a moving read, but well worth it.

Joy in the Sorrow - How a Thriving Church (and its Pastor) Learned to Suffer Well by Matt Chandler, published by Good Book Company, £8.99.

Therefore I Have Hope

How would you respond if the worst thing you could ever imagine happened? Or are you already living through your worst fears? This book is written by Cameron Cole, a father whose son died suddenly at the age of 3 years. He and his family were immediately plunged into their worst fear. How do you respond to the death of your nearest and dearest? Here Cole writes about the Biblical truths that sustained him throughout this time and continue to form his 'narrative of hope'. Although written from a perspective of bereavement, there is much here to feed the soul of any suffering believer. It is a book full of hope, a hope that can only be truly found in Christ, and this is where Cole directs our attention.  His own story is used to illustrate but not overshadow the Biblical lessons.  He is honest about his failings and open about the lessons learnt. He writes of grace given only as needed, of a desperate clinging to the basic gospel truths, of a faltering faith that cries out in doubt and confusion to a long-suffering and loving God. But he also speaks of the great comforts found in the Scriptures, the peace found in a total dependence on a sovereign God, the empathy found in the God-Man Jesus Christ, and the very real presence of a God who has promised to never forsake his people.
Helpfully, Cole is also very practical about difficult situations that can arise with friends, colleagues and the Church family during suffering times.  He writes of bitterness and sin, but also of service and joy.
My only word of caution is regarding the final chapter on heaven - there is perhaps too much imagination used over the unrevealed details of this glorious place. Regardless of this, there is much in this book to comfort a world-weary soul. The honesty is raw and hard to read at times, but powerful in its testimony to the sustaining grace of our omnipotent God.
Therefore I have hope by Cameron Cole, published by Crossway, £10.99

Being There - How To Love Those Who Are Hurting

There are many books written for those who are suffering but not so many for those who are trying to help and support the suffering. This is where Being There comes in. Written by Dave Furman (the husband of Gloria Furman, for those ladies out there who have enjoyed her books), this is written from the perspective of both one who is a sufferer and who as a pastor also cares for the suffering. As such he has quite a unique view of the subject.
The book begins by discussing loss. Both the sufferer and the carer experience loss in these situations and many times the loss to the carer is not acknowledged. This loss is real and painful and will often be silently grieved. Furman points the carer to the hope and comfort that is only truly found in the Scriptures.
The first and primary important role of the carer is to be sure that they are walking with the Lord.  From whom is the carer getting the strength and desire to care? Is the motivation to care borne out of duty, or pride, or is it borne out of a desire to show the glory of God? Where is the comfort for the carer when their care appears to be unappreciated? "Grow in your love for the Lord, and you will grow in your love for the hurting".
Furman then shows from Scripture how a carer can be a faithful friend, a 'hope dealer' and how to follow the example of Jesus in their sacrificial service to others. The importance and power of prayer is also covered. One challenging chapter deals with the necessity of accepting the faithful rebuke of a friend or not shying of giving rebuke in the right spirit.
A very practical chapter gives a list of 10 don'ts when attempting to care for the suffering, from suggesting the latest miracle oil to blaming their sin for their situation. Some of these don'ts may appear obvious, but it is so easy in well-meaning to offend if the needs of the sufferer are not properly considered.
Furman finishes by discussing the role of the Church in caring for others. The shared burdens, the corporate prayer, and most importantly the preaching of the Gospel.
An afterword is added from Gloria who is able to give a small insight into her journey of caring for Dave and from where she gets the strength she needs for each day.
This is a helpful and easy to read book with its focus firmly on the Gospel and the hope that is found there for both sufferer and carer. And as a bonus, the imagery of the cover picture is fantastic!

Being There by Dave Furman, published by Crossway, £8.99

The Life You Never Expected

Just received this thoughtful and valuable review from a couple who also parent special needs children:

The buckets of sound counsel in this book have been drawn from deep waters: ‘I am come into deep waters where the floods overflow me’ (Psalm 69:2).  Perhaps it is only those floundering in the ‘deep waters that cross life’s pathway’ that will fully appreciate the spiritual and practical wisdom that saturates these pages.

In ‘The life you never expected’ Andrew and Rachel Wilson write candidly about the shock, disappointment and frustration of adapting to a life that not only wasn’t expected, but wasn’t wanted.  As the shock subsides and a ‘new ordinary’ replaces former dreams, so the authors explore the ‘Jobesque’ conundrum of faith in suffering.

The sub-title ‘Thriving while parenting special needs children’ is somewhat misleading and unfortunate.  At best it suggests that this is some kind of lifestyle manual with a spiritual twist; at worst some sort of prosperity gospel tackling life’s most complex questions in a flippant and superficial manner.  The introduction soon allayed these fears as the authors acknowledge that they are ‘feeling for God’s purposes in the dark’, ‘the need to find God and lean on him in the storm’, concluding that ‘for us, nothing short of a Saviour is enough’. Amen, to that!

The real value of this book is the way that the short, punchy chapters shift the focus away from the self-pity, self-indulgence and bitterness that are the natural domain of those feeling the isolation and pain of coping with life with disability. Our thoughts and coping strategies are recalibrated - lifted above the temporal drudgery to the uplifting, eternal realities revealed in God’s word. Perhaps, at times, the book is not telling us anything we don’t already know or have not already considered – but it does crystallise our disjointed musings with its clarity of style and biblical insight.

A few highlights:

• Thankfulness in a world of entitlement: ‘if what you have is greater than what you deserve, then that’s where thankfulness comes from. If what you think you deserve is greater than what you think you have, then that’s where bitterness comes from.’ And, of course, we deserve nothing – apart from death by sin. ‘Grace, by revealing both how much I have and how little I deserve, helps bring me to a place of humility and thankfulness’.
• Individualitis and the dung gate: this chapter demolishes the notion that ‘the world is mainly about me’. Malchijah is put forward as a role model – ‘he sits marooned in the midst of an incredibly long and dull list of names in Nehemiah 3....All we know is that he spent a short period of his life doing something very mundane, very smelly and very unnoticeable: he fixed a Dung Gate. Yet in his mediocre, ordinary way, Malchijah, along with all the others, helped establish the kingdom of God on earth....I was always inclined to think that God’s purposes came about through great leaders...travelling preachers, justice campaigners....Mostly, however, they don’t. They come about through millions of unnamed people doing unheard of things, in unnoticeable ways, to the glory of God. Repairing a wall. Teaching a classroom of seven-year olds. Sweeping a street. Running a business. Raising autistic children. Fixing a dung gate.’ 
• The true battle: ‘the fake battles are a whirlwind of phone calls, government services, websites, more phone calls, forms, applications, more phone calls. And each of these can distract me from the true battle, which more often than not, is not fought that way. Frequently , the weapons of the true battle include silence, prayer, thought, clinging onto a Scripture passage with my fingernails, singing through gritted teeth...reaching for Jesus through the mist of confusion or unanswered prayer....I love my kids most by not loving them the most, but by first loving Him’.

As might be expected from authors of a charismatic persuasion there is a chapter on healing, but, on the whole, this topic is handled in a fairly orthodox manner. Our bodies constantly heal themselves as part of what might be termed common grace; God can and occasionally does still heal miraculously if he chooses; the healing through means such as modern medicine is a gracious gift from a loving God; the healing in the last day when our bodies are raised incorruptible, spiritual, glorious – without affliction, pain or disability – ‘Autism and Down’s syndrome and schizophrenia and Alzheimer’s are swallowed up in victory’.  

We recommend this wise and thought-provoking book to all who ‘sink in deep mire, where there is no standing’ who are ‘come into deep waters where the floods overflow’ (Psalm 69 v 14). It may be part of God’s sovereign purpose that the deep waters last a lifetime – but, as this books underlines, full provision has been made in the gospel for the life we didn’t expect.